New Year, New You?

Happy New Year! Here we go again with the ramblings of Molly.
This year was the first New Year's Eve that I've spent away from my family, away from the busy and over crowded restaurant my parent's own, and away from, well, anything familiar and comfortable. Instead, I stood still in a sea of people at Disney's Hollywood Studios with two of my best friends and a drink in hand. And as I stood there watching the most spectacular fireworks display I've ever seen, I was at peace. I stood and reflected on 2009 as I always do, but for the first time in many years I wasn't fast forwarding and planning out the future of 2010. As I dialed back in to everything around me and listened to the DJ music in the background, it was not Auld Lange Syne that was playing (which is fabulous because I've never really liked that song). First the DJ played Let It Be by The Beatles, then Dream On by Aerosmith. Yes, this was ridiculously ironic, but I just laughed to myself and enjoyed the first new moments of 2010 unfolding before me.
Ever since I was little, I've been the girl with the big dreams, and New Year's Resolutions were no exception. Well all my friends thought cleaning their room every week was a good choice, I chose things like staying on top on my exercise program that I've had to deal with all my life. I didn't believe in small goals, or small dreams for that matter. Life didn't stop just because the calendar year changed over. Even knowing this I continued to make lengthy resolutions (last year's four being two pages long) and continued to not follow through on them. I would get extremely annoyed with myself looking at this as quitting or becoming lazy because I didn't want to do the work. While that was sometimes, unfortunately, the case, this New Year's Eve taught me something more.
I wasn't quitting or becoming lazy, but I was doing something with no purpose, no reason, no drive. Life doesn't stop just because the calendar year has changed over. It never will. So what I learned this year was this: everything you want to do, you should want to do year round. If you don't, change it. Getting stuck in a pattern of dread it pointless. I learned that I need to let things be and continue to dream regardless of what I may encounter in trying to achieve those dreams. And lastly, I've learned that it's not New Year, New You. It's about being who you are and matching that up with who you want to be. You don't have to change everything, or anything for that matter, for that to happen.
So, what's my New Year's Resolution this year? Well, I don't believe in them anymore. I believe you should always have goals and coming up with them on January 1st makes them no more special. I believe in giving yourself second, third, and fourth--an infinite number of chances--so that is what I entend to do.
This year and everyday for the rest of my life, it is my goal to just be. It is my goal to live life and do all that I can, without fear.
You should try it! :)